A burn-out and the ronna were the best thing that happenned to my 2020

Entrepreneurship and mental health

I know, when you read this title, you wondered if I was speaking of the very same 2020 we’ve all been experiencing and wanting to cancel. Losing Kobe, being quarantined, losing loved ones to the COVID, police brutality… 2020 has so far sadly surpassed any other year we may have known. However, through all the chaos, each tragedy taught me some valuable lessons. Some lessons I’m sure, we can all profit from to make the best of what is left of this year.

When I started off as an entrepreneur, back in August 2018, I thought I had it all, and all under my control. The business plan convinced my investors, I had a clear idea of what my typical day would go, and imagined how perfect my life as an entrepreneur would be, merely based on how skilled and passionate I was. Little did I know, a successful business was more than education and network.

Fast forward to February 2019, my business is flourishing, I’m gaining followers, giving my first masterclass, catching trains left and right to meet my clients all over France and abroad, but my mental health is slowly deteriorating.

November 2019 came. I had moved out my parent place and now stayed in a small cozy flat. At that time I was spending days and nights working, eating once and very late in the day (actually, night), sleeping very few hours and counting pennies to make sure my books were updated. Working from home, it was very easy for me to spend more than 5 days in and never step outside, even for groceries, which didn’t help.

At the time, the financial helps I was receiving from the government weren’t enough make ends meet. My business started requiring better quality investment, and my oh so supportive partner, as willing as he was, couldn’t afford to financially support me every month.

So I started taking more clients that I could satisfy, sacrificing precious resources I needed for myself, for the sake paying the bills. Doing so, I did not realize how much harm I was causing to my inner girl. That part of me who pushed herself to excel sometimes at the cost of her own peace, to make sure she was good enough and deserved to be loved by others. Obviously, it didn’t go well.

Putting more work on my shoulders that they could bear while charging less than what my I deserved led me to bankruptcy. Add to this some family drama, and that was it: January 2020, my emotional distress peaked into a burn out and several panick attacks.

January 2020, my emotional distress peaked into a burn out and several panick attacks.

The weeks that followed were some of the toughest of my life. I was diagnosed with a depression that I had been struggling with since the age of 8. The doctors asked me not to work, but I had to (because who gon pay these bills, boo ?). However, I found a way to work less for as much, if not more productivity during those times, thanks to a new approach and great business partners.

Before confinement, I had stopped taking sleeping pills and started going to the gym. These efforts resulted into my sleep schedule naturally regulating itself.

But then the Covid happenned. The government decided to confine us on the 16th of march. A week later, symptoms of coronavirus started showing up. And the week that followed, I was back to the start: exhausted, depressed, lonely, hurt, and unable to work.

When I relapsed into depression, I thought this was going to be the end for me and my dreams. But with perspective I now know that it was a necessary step back.

I had to understand that the old version of me and the person that the life I was dreaming of required me to become couldn’t cohabitate. During those times, I felt forced into self-care, sitting down with myself, digging deep into my soul and surrendering to the process of healing in order to survive. And I am now grateful for it, because it showed me the way to a version of myself that not only do I like, but also can build sustainable success in different areas for the both us: the inner child, AND the grown woman.

Here are the few steps that helped me get back on my feet:

1- SPEAKING TO MY SUPPORT SYSTEM

Soon as sadness knocked back to the door of my heart, I didn’t shut my support system down. I let them know that I wasn’t okay, even if I felt guilty for feeling weak again. Thankfully, they made it okay for me to strip my soul down and still feel loved.

2- RELYING ON OTHERS

I truly believe that there’s no such thing as self-made. Just like a child, it takes a village to build a successful business. If you start feeling overwhelmed, maybe it’s time to hire.

I personnally didn’t know I had people I could trust with my business until I was rushed to the hospital. Don’t wait to get to that point to learn how to trust your business partners, employees or interns.

Building a successful business is just like raising a child: it takes a village.

3- GETTING PROFESSIONAL HELP

Sis, depression doesn’t leave with prayers only. Some of us actually need medical treatment and professional advice to heal. Call your psychologist, get on Better Help, do what you gotta do to get the treatment your mental health needs.

Doing so made me feel better in terms of knowing I made all the necessary steps to do better, and this simple action sent a positive message to my self-esteem.

Maybe it's also time to have your business audited by experts, to submit your vision to a mentor, a model, someone who is already achieving the goals you are aiming for.

Your concept may not be that bad, but your modus operandi is failing you. The problem can also be easy to fix once identified. It could be your price, your financial management, your prospecting, the product itself… Before throwing the business away, give yourself another chance, with different methods.

Before you give up, try something different.

4- PUTTING MYSELF FIRST

Thinking of my schedule before I burnt out, I realized I was pouring a lot into my company and my clients’ businesses, but never allowing myself to refill. Financial success was so much at the center of my attention, that I totally neglected my well-being. So I switched it up and decided to practice self-care, showing myself the love I wanted to receive daily and prioritizing my needs before anyone’s.

For example, back then, I would grab my phone soon as I woke up, and would always end up getting sunken into intense days of work. Now, I take time to pray, meditate, organize my space, exercise, eat, watch a video or two on YouTube, listen to a podcast, call my mom, before I indulge into any professional activity. And if that takes my whole morning, so be it. I started disciplining my thought process to stop feeling guilty for investing in myself and saw my productivity and satisfaction grow in tremendous ways.

You can practice self care with small daily actions.

Making peace with what I went through was an eyeopener. I learned that my low self-esteem was keeping me from the life I deserved. My relationship to performance and productivity had led me to lose myself in the process. My poor capacity to express love more than with tough words affected me to the point where I got scared to interact with the audience that yet and still trusted me.

I had to realize that in order to attract abundance, I couldn’t work from a place of lack. In order to succeed in business, I needed to succeed as a person. My character had to change. My relationships, starting with the one I had with myself, had to change. In order to grow my business, I had to do some self-growth and find an inner peace that my old habits wouldn’t allow me to search.

I can now say that despite the terrible effect this pandemic is having on our lives, and the sour taste of failure I experienced, I am mostly grateful life didn’t allow me to go further down the road of self-destruction.

A burnout and Ms. Ronna were indeed, the best things that could happen to me and my company.